Tag Archives: Chelsea

Vuvuzela Gossip Korner: Diego Costa & Andre Schurrle Hate Each Other

Listen: everybody loves gossip. How can you not love gossip? You can’t not love it. We all love it. If you don’t, you’re a liar. Here at Vuvuzela Stylings we are very much about raising a ruckus. So let’s start some … Continue reading

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Premier League Returns, Is Terrible

Ah, the sticky hot disgusting late summer. A time when your ice cream cone melts faster than you can eat it but you don’t mind because the tear gas that police threw into your back yard has ruined the taste anyway. A … Continue reading

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Reunited and It Feels so Good: The UEFA Super Cup Recap

Yes yes yall, international week is so boring that I went back and recapped the UEFA SuperCup. BarcelonaBayern Munich vs Chelsea, Champions League winners vs Europa League winners, THE ULTIMATE BATTLE FOR UEFA CLUB COMPETITION WINNER TAKES ALL. All of what, … Continue reading

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The Weak End

It’s a summary, yall already know what it is, you know what it do. Let’s get into it. At one point early on in Arsenal’s hilarious 3-1 loss at home to barely-escaped-relegation Aston Villa, the commentator commentated that match referee … Continue reading

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Art, vol. 29

Thrill of the Chase Michael Ballack, onthesteal. 2009

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Premier League Match Report: Chelsea 3 – 1 Everton like you’ve never seen

This first appeared on Surreal Football. Go there and read it again when you’re done here. Before we begin, let me just say: I know. I’m sorry. This weekend has been a difficult time for MS Paint match reporting. First, … Continue reading

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Art, vol. 24

Comedy Is All About Timing Jose Mourinho. 2006

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International Friendly: Mexico 1-2 Brazil

Last night’s headline match was Mexico vs. Brazil, obviously. Now before we begin, The Vuvuzela Stylings of Toblerone Jones would like to single out one television station Univision for being the best ever and putting all the game’s important moments … Continue reading

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Frank Lampard is “back”

John Terry’s sidekick Frank Lampard scored a hat trick against Bolton Wanderers, of the English Premier League. The Tory is a shoo-in for FIFA Player of the Year, surely.

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Vuvuzela Match Report: Manchester United vs. Chelsea (THE DIRECTOR’S CUT)

This first appeared on Surreal Football. Due to technical difficulties it did not appear with captioned pictures as originally intended. We present it here in its undiluted splendor. You guys, this game. This game. This game. This game. It was so … Continue reading

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