Tag Archives: Arsenal

Premier League Returns, Is Terrible

Ah, the sticky hot disgusting late summer. A time when your ice cream cone melts faster than you can eat it but you don’t mind because the tear gas that police threw into your back yard has ruined the taste anyway. A … Continue reading

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The Age of Özil

The Post-Cesc Era is over, yall. The Age of Özil is upon us. Praise God. Verily I say unto you, these are days of which we hath not witnessed the like. A celestial power walks in the midst of mere boys, … Continue reading

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Premier League Week 4 Preview and Analysis

A very scientific graph.

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How It Feels

When I was in high school, I loved Dimitar Berbatov. I still do of course, literally every single person in the world besides Sir Alex Ferguson does, but my most focused obsession over Berbatov came during his Spurs run. I … Continue reading

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The Weak End

It’s a summary, yall already know what it is, you know what it do. Let’s get into it. At one point early on in Arsenal’s hilarious 3-1 loss at home to barely-escaped-relegation Aston Villa, the commentator commentated that match referee … Continue reading

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Illustrated Premier League Match Report: Arsenal 3 – 1 Stoke

This first appeared on Surreal Football. Go there and read it again as soon as you’re done here. Wow yall, three great English Premier League games this weekend, all of them on Sunday! (Sorry Liverpool.) It was infuriating because more … Continue reading

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Arsenal Explained

In gif form!   Via the lovely Suzi and Allison.

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Montenegro 2-2 England: Illustrated Edition

This first appeared on Surreal Football. Hi everyone! It’s me, your friendly neighborhood vuvuzelist. Last night England played against Montenegro somewhere deep in the black mountain ranges for which I assume the country is named. A confession: I didn’t watch the … Continue reading

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The North London Derby: Tottenham 2-1 Arsenal

This first appeared on Surreal Football, with all doodles instead of pictures. Of the two important English Premier League derbies this weekend, the North London fixture had much more narrative meat to mine than its Merseyside cousin. Arsenal in crisis, … Continue reading

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Vuvuzela Match Reports: Arsenal F.C. 3-0 Bolton Wanderers F.C.

This first appeared on Surreal Football, with MS Paint pictures instead of just captioned ones. Arsenal go into this game having won only a single league game, and that a tense 1-0 against newly promoted Swansea. Bolton are at the … Continue reading

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