Category Archives: Match Reports

The Age of Özil

The Post-Cesc Era is over, yall. The Age of Özil is upon us. Praise God. Verily I say unto you, these are days of which we hath not witnessed the like. A celestial power walks in the midst of mere boys, … Continue reading

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Reunited and It Feels so Good: The UEFA Super Cup Recap

Yes yes yall, international week is so boring that I went back and recapped the UEFA SuperCup. BarcelonaBayern Munich vs Chelsea, Champions League winners vs Europa League winners, THE ULTIMATE BATTLE FOR UEFA CLUB COMPETITION WINNER TAKES ALL. All of what, … Continue reading

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The Weak End

It’s a summary, yall already know what it is, you know what it do. Let’s get into it. At one point early on in Arsenal’s hilarious 3-1 loss at home to barely-escaped-relegation Aston Villa, the commentator commentated that match referee … Continue reading

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El Clasico

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Match Report: England 1 – 0 Spain

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La Liga Match Report: Athletic Bilbao 2 – 2 Barcelona

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Illustrated Premier League Match Report: Arsenal 3 – 1 Stoke

This first appeared on Surreal Football. Go there and read it again as soon as you’re done here. Wow yall, three great English Premier League games this weekend, all of them on Sunday! (Sorry Liverpool.) It was infuriating because more … Continue reading

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Swansea 3 – 1 Bolton

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Wolves 2 – 2 Swansea

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Premier League Match Report: Chelsea 3 – 1 Everton like you’ve never seen

This first appeared on Surreal Football. Go there and read it again when you’re done here. Before we begin, let me just say: I know. I’m sorry. This weekend has been a difficult time for MS Paint match reporting. First, … Continue reading

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