Tag Archives: English Premier League

The Premier League Team of Assholes

In our first ever guest post, Ritesh of The False 9 gives us a tactical analysis of the Premier League’s shittiest assholes. We’ve all seen articles compiling “The Top Ten Players In The Premier League” or “The Best Ever Transfers … Continue reading

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Illustrated Premier League Match Report: Arsenal 3 – 1 Stoke

This first appeared on Surreal Football. Go there and read it again as soon as you’re done here. Wow yall, three great English Premier League games this weekend, all of them on Sunday! (Sorry Liverpool.) It was infuriating because more … Continue reading

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Swansea 3 – 1 Bolton

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Wolves 2 – 2 Swansea

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Premier League Match Report: Chelsea 3 – 1 Everton like you’ve never seen

This first appeared on Surreal Football. Go there and read it again when you’re done here. Before we begin, let me just say: I know. I’m sorry. This weekend has been a difficult time for MS Paint match reporting. First, … Continue reading

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Arsenal Explained

In gif form!   Via the lovely Suzi and Allison.

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Premier League Preview: Liverpool vs. Manchester United

Well, here we go. It’s this time of year again. The biseasonal clash between the two biggest and most important clubs in the history of English soccer. It’s a pretty big deal I suppose. United won the title last year. … Continue reading

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The North London Derby: Tottenham 2-1 Arsenal

This first appeared on Surreal Football, with all doodles instead of pictures. Of the two important English Premier League derbies this weekend, the North London fixture had much more narrative meat to mine than its Merseyside cousin. Arsenal in crisis, … Continue reading

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The Merseyside Derby: Everton 0-2 Liverpool

This first appeared on Surreal Football. The English Premier League is full of Very Important Meaningful derbies, and the Merseyside Derby of Everton vs Liverpool is one of them. Personally I love a good derby. It takes dumb assholes and raises … Continue reading

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BREAKING NEWS: Liverpool FC Announce New Motto

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